STEVE DAVIS

Let's face it folks, anyone who has had his scripts performed on the Comedy Company, has performed on the Big Gig, before royalty at the Sydney Opera House and has been the support act to visiting international artists such as Bruce Springsteen, Simon and Garfunkle, Roberta Flack and John Denver, to name a few, can rightly be described as a great entertainer. I'm the guy!!!

I started out as a professional comedian in 1979. Since then time I have hidden enough credits up my sleeve to lay claim to the title of Australia's most innovative and versatile comedian. But I am too modest for something say something like that about myself. Let's just concede the fact that I am bloody good! How do I know? Well, I've had five NSW Mo Award nominations - so what if I didn't win any of them, it was rigged. I was also nominated as Best Queensland Comedian in my first year living in here, well deserved recognition from my peers, but not as good as actually winning when you think about it. For a while I was a regular presenter on The Motoring Show on the 7 Network where my comedy talents were put to great use. Too bad the show ran out of money.

Nowadays I work at conventions, conferences and high class functions. In case you didn't know, the field of corporate entertainment is one that requires performers to be appropriate to their audiences, professional in their attitudes and unique in their presentation. That sounds like me. Over the last few years I have taken the convention industry by storm with my loony characters includingthe "Comedy Waiter", "Industry Expert" or the special persona I will create for your function.

Corporations such as the FBI, BHP, QUF, XXXX, BP and others who spell their name in full, have all used me and my businesses, I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR MONEY PTY. LTD. and FUNNY BUSINESS to provide an exciting and hilarious alternative to the entertainment they have used in the past. When an organisation or conference is holding a function, I infiltrate the catering staff as The World's Wackiest Waiter and have the guests laughing at my antics and wondering about "the help". I actually serve the food and drinks - most of the time - in my own special style. Of course there are always foul-ups in the kitchen, delays at the bar, wisecracks and mayhem; you name it and it happens. Being "on work experience from the CES" is no excuse, so after dinner I am publicly fired for causing trouble. I "apologise" to the group by performing my comedy show which includes a bunch of jokes, some juggling, a few jokes, fire-eating, more jokes, a bit of magic, a joke or two, a really stupid ballon animal and a joke.

I also specialise in creating and presenting distinctive, one-off scripts for corporate clients where I pretend to be a specialist in the industry in question. I am then introduced as a key-note speaker and my speech starts out being quite credible since using the net and other sources, I have done extensive research into the topic I am discussing. However, before long, I start contradicting myself, going off topic and becoming more and more farcical until it becomes clear (to almost everyone) that I am, in fact, an a complete fraud.

I conclude my presentation by moving into my comedy cabaret show, which now has jokes. Sometimes a conference needs something to give the delegates a quick lift. I excel at what I call "guerilla comedy" - hit and run laughs, if you like. Picture sitting in a sales conference, the mood gets more somber as figures, projections, and quotas are covered. Suddenly, at a given cue from the speaker, there is a commotion at the back or an interruption of some sort. Maybe a short bloke lumbering a suitcase stumbles into the room purporting to be "checking it out" for another function; perhaps he interjects from the back on a point the speaker has made; maybe he just hijacks the stage, unannounced. It's STEVE DAVIS again, arriving, entertaining and disappearinnnng, leav